Imagine: Ted is a gorilla not a teddy bear.
Imagine: Walberg is The Rock and not from Boston.
Leave the rest.
So: these life-long friends have a special bond but suddenly fall on rough times and can’t get along. At. All. Eventually though, they work it out. Yeah, they’re rude to each other, vulgar even, but that’s how guys are together when they’re buds and need to say “I love you” but can’t. And before the credits, Walberg—I mean The Rock—gets the girl!
In this way the film ends: two buds and a babe. Happily ever after.