Sep 122018

Imagine: Ted is a gorilla not a teddy bear.

Imagine: Walberg is The Rock and not from Boston.

Leave the rest.

So: these life-long friends have a special bond but suddenly fall on rough times and can’t get along. At. All. Eventually though, they work it out. Yeah, they’re rude to each other, vulgar even, but that’s how guys are together when they’re buds and need to say “I love you” but can’t. And before the credits, Walberg—I mean The Rock—gets the girl!

In this way the film ends: two buds and a babe. Happily ever after.

Feb 232016

San Andreas

Two things occurred to me as I was watching this movie.

First, disaster movies give me the same pleasure that I used to get from horror films as a kid. My poor fingers are chewed to pieces when they’re done. And it doesn’t matter that I know that the whole affair is ridiculous.

Second, Dwayne Johnson has the charming combination of stable presence and dancing lightness that I associate with old-style movie stars. It makes me think his body and history have pushed him into the wrong corner of the movie business. I’d like to see him reduced (physically) to human proportions and trying to play second lead in a dialogue heavy, screwball-type comedy.